It’s Time To talk about the ‘Priority Fraud’
“Nobody is too busy, it’s just a matter of priorities.”
I have lost count of how many times I have read this quote on various social media platforms. Posted by pages and shared by the oh so upset people of our generation. I’m quite sure many of you do believe in this quote, I did too. But, my wandering mind decided to look deeper into its meaning and connect it to the real world.
Way too many priorities
One thing that people miss out on is that we all have our own set of ‘non-living’ priorities. For example, a person might be totally focussed on their career, finding happiness or peace in life, struggling to make ends meet, trying to get clarity in life, etc. In my opinion, the ‘living’ priorities come after the ‘non-living’ priorities on the priority list. This puts all the people and relationships in your life below your non-living priorities.
Pleasing the ‘living’ priorities
Well, of course, our ‘non-living’ priorities do not cause much of a problem because they can’t speak to us. This makes it obvious that our living priorities or I must say, the people in our lives, are the ones who can cause issues, sometimes genuine, sometimes unacceptable. Here is where I would like to introduce the term Priority Fraud. It is the fooling of people into believing that they are required to give maximum (sometimes all!) time to living priorities instead of the much important non-living priorities.
This priority fraud has a direct connection with the quote mentioned at the beginning of this blog. It is true to some extent, about which I’ll discuss later. But, first I need to highlight all the reasons I feel it is misleading people and creating complications in relationships.
How is the quote misleading?
- It makes our living priorities feel like we are not giving them enough time when we are spending time on our non-living priorities. If a person will not give time to their non-living priorities, he or she may not lead to being happy and ready enough to deal with their living priorities. This is what causes further complications in relationships.
- Many friendships and relationships end because you are unable to find ‘enough’ time for them. The definition of ‘enough’ is different for different people. I personally am quite happy with one to about one and a half hour given to me on a daily basis by the people who are VERY close to me. On the other hand, if a GOOD friend checks up on me even once a week or ten days, I am happy because I understand they have their own set of non-living priorities.
- Another problem that I personally face is that when I am unable to reply to a message for some days, some people get offended. I understand sometimes I reply as late as 10 days but, can’t there be a ‘busy phase’ in a person’s life? Especially when a person is going through his or her career building phase, he or she gets limited time to attend to their living priorities. The mantra is to understand and analyze the condition of the person who has not been in touch for a while before you jump to the conclusion that they are avoiding you.
- Again I will repeat, non-living priorities are very very very important and SHOULD be very important for everyone. Try to understand that your loved ones have their own struggles and they do try their best to give you time and check up on you. It’s a different case when a person is not giving you time even when they can. Let’s discuss it in the next section.
Let’s Discuss it’s Partial Rightness
Okay. So, for the people who are still in doubt if their loved ones are giving them a proper time or not, this is your section. Here are some questions for you:
- Are you their best friend or in a relationship with them?
- If yes, then do they spend their free time with some other person (excluding their family)?
- Or do they dedicate all their free time to their family?
My first question makes it clear who comes at the top of the living priority list (Family holds the first place). If you are one of them and the answer to the second question is yes, then it’s time to talk to them if you are as important to them as they claim. A person’s free time should be dedicated to himself/herself (me time) as well as their family, better half, and best friend. If you are any of them and someone else is getting your share of time, it’s time to accept that you are no longer in their priority list.
Coming to the last question. Spending time with family is more important than anything else. But, if a person always comes up with an excuse that they have been spending all their free time with their family (almost always), Then I think they shouldn’t have considered you their best friend/life partner. Every relationship needs to be nurtured with time and effort. If you can’t give a minimum required time to a relationship then you should not sign up for it in the first place.
Summing up My Priority Fraud Theory
In the end, I would like to sum up my Priority Fraud Theory by saying that we should always first try to analyze the situation of the people in our lives. Everyone is busy trying to put their life together, working on their dreams, finding happiness, and much more. If they have given you an important place in their life, They will definitely dedicate you some part of their free time on a daily basis. But, beware if that free time is being given to some other person, then it might mean you are nowhere on their priority list. The next step should be talking to them about this. If they do not correct or accept their mistake, it’s time to make changes to your own priorities.
That’s all for this topic, I hope you found some clarity after reading it. Stay tuned for more write-ups by me. God bless everyone!
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Although I’m a Science student, I love writing. My interest in reading gave rise to an interest in writing. I love to express my views through my writings and am always happy to help people by providing important and useful information. I write on crazy topics that grab the curiosity of the reader. I’m an optimist and have a very beautiful view about life. Life is a gift, use it wisely.